Schism
by astral-angel
Summary: They're not alright, far from it. But they're alive. ShepWeir and team angst. Was nominated in the 2007 Stargate Fan Awards.


**Title: **Schism

**Category: **Stargate Atlantis

**Character/Pairings: **John/Elizabeth

**Disclaimer: **This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by MGM Studios Inc., the Sci Fi Channel and Acme Shark. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

**Rating: **Teen friendly.

**Word Count: **1,780

**Spoilers: **None

**Warnings:** References to torture, minor sexual situations.

**Summary: **They're not alright, far from it, but they're _alive_.

**Notes: **Was originally written for Jo [driftingatdusk who requested: Elizabeth off-world, mission gone wrong, no character death or rape, at the swficathon on LJ. Yeah. Lyrics are from various artists inc. Staind, Three Days Grace, Default, Death Cab For Cutie, Broken Social Scene, Chris Daughtry, Breaking Benjamin and Lifehouse. Huge thanks to both chiarahhue and lonepyramid on LJ for doing such awesome jobs as betas'.

**Part (1/1)**

_[and everything I can't remember_

They wake up in the middle of a jungle. The wet heat presses down on them so that they are soaked and the mosquitoes that bite them look suspiciously like they would the ones on Earth.

McKay whines about allergies and humidity until Ronon loses patience and slaps him on the head. Teyla makes a token protest, but she shoots the runner a grateful look anyway.

Two hours later they have made minimal progress through the dense foliage and McKay has a niggling sensation that they're forgetting something.

Three hours, and Ronon stops suddenly, looking around. McKay walks into him and by the time the physicist is done ranting, the reason he stopped in the first place has slipped his mind.

Fifteen minutes after that, Teyla wipes sweat away from her eyes and wonders what they're doing in the middle of a jungle. A flash of a sandy desert and dry air appears in her mind but is banished by McKay's brash voice.

"Where are Sheppard and Elizabeth?"

_[only when I stop to think about it_

She isn't sure how long she's been lying here. Her legs have cramped from being curled up and the skin on her wrists is raw and bloody. Occasionally she hears sounds – unearthly screams that stop with a suddenness that is chilling.

Some days she measures time by the screaming, and wishes for the nanites again.

The thought flits through her mind, and then she wonders what these nanites are.

Yelling tears through the silence and quickly turns into shrieking. The voice is familiar, but everyone screams differently and the silent cry of _John_ in her head means nothing.

She concentrates on the blood pooling on her skin and thinks back to high school biology. The pure sciences have never been her thing but her best friend had been a self proclaimed science geek. _Red blood cells make up the majority of your blood – shaped like biconcave discs; it's the haemoglobin molecules that give them the red colour because they bind to the iron in your blood._ And that wasn't quite right, but hell, it's been over fifteen years since she was in high school and it's not like Carson is around to explain it to her.

She doesn't find it weird that her best friend's name was Mary and she's never known anyone called Carson.

_[well this is not for real, afraid to feel_

He wakes up to find Elizabeth straddling him, dressed in skin and sweat, glowing in the light streaming from the windows (his room doesn't get this sort of light). His eyes can't decide where to look first and so he settles for rearing up and catching her mouth in a hard kiss, morning breath be damned. Hands fly over slick skin, learning the smooth dips and rises.

The next twenty minutes pass in a haze and all he can think is that it is _not_ fair that he can't even have proper sex with her in a dream before his brain fizzles into _hotgodsotightsogood_.

She moans his name when she comes and that alone is enough to send him over the edge in free fall.

This is where he usually wakes up, so he is more than a little confused to find that Elizabeth is still clenched around him, a satisfied smirk on her face, and holy crap, he's just had sex with Elizabeth.

He flips them over and pins her to the mattress (when did his bed get so big?) while Elizabeth laughs up at him. He ignores the press of her breasts against his chest and studies her. There's a hickey low on her collarbone and he thinks that his mouth will fit over the mark perfectly.

A groan leaves his lips and she wriggles under him, a coquettish smile on her face. Her hand traces his face and the glint of gold on her finger is enough to make him freeze.

Somebody bangs on the door (he thinks it may be McKay because no one else is this intent on destroying his love life) and surprise surprise, it is McKay and he's ranting about ceremonies and Teyla and Ronon.

John wonders if he's maybe suffered from a concussion or this is some sort of bizarre reality because when in the hell did Teyla and Ronon decide to get hitched?

He stares down at Elizabeth and is surprised to see the resignation on her face. "They would choose to get married on our anniversary, wouldn't they?"

His heart stops and suddenly he never wants to wake up.

_[we'll leave our sins on the carpet twine_

When they get back to Atlantis, Lorne points a gun at Ronon while Caldwell tells them that they've been gone for a month. Rodney's eyes widen and he's about to argue but he stops in mid sentence and his voice dies.

Because hell, they might have been gone for a month for all they knew. He remembers the sticky heat of the jungle but he knows that the planet they originally set out for was dry sand and bitter wind. He knows that they left the city in a puddlejumper and a team of five.

Caldwell takes them into custody and maybe this is a little bit more revenge against them for the 'interrogation' after the Trust incident, but McKay would like to believe that the colonel really wants to know where John and Elizabeth are.

Cadman is the guard assigned to him when Caldwell finally acknowledges that they might be telling the truth and he is surprisingly relieved to see her. He misses his team (not that he'll admit it, ever) and seeing a familiar, if not friendly, face is almost enough.

She walks him to his room and tells him that his story is so crazy that it had to be true because something of _this_ scale could only ever happen to his team. He musters a half-hearted smirk and shuts the door in her face before the carefully constructed mask falls.

He remembers that John didn't want to be on that planet and Elizabeth had started to look nervous. He remembers waving their concerns away and he remembers convincing Teyla and Ronon that they had nothing to worry about.

He remembers leaning against a tree while the two remaining members of his team carefully avoided looking him in the eyes.

He remembers the cold horror that had slashed through his skin once he'd realised that this was all his fault.

_[now you're all gone got your make up on and you're not coming back_

She thinks it's five days after they tie her to a table and shoot her arm up with something that left ugly tracks after only one use that the fog in her mind clears.

She knows. She knows Atlantis and she knows Carson. The screaming that she had ignored so blithely before makes here heart hurt now. She recognizes the voice, and the silent cry of _John_ in her head _means_ something.

The tears fall down her face and the salt stings when they pass through cuts and scratches. She welcomes the pain, knows that it keeps her grounded.

She will _not_ forget again.

_[and I never thought I'd doubt you I'm better off without you_

He's standing here watching the Athosian priest lead the ceremony and is only mildly surprised to see that Ronon's hair is out of the dreads.

It's 2008 and he wants _his _Elizabeth back. This reality is wrong, the people are wrong and he doesn't have a clue what to do about it. He's spent the better part of a week trying to figure out what the hell is going on and he's come up with squat.

The last thing he remembers is a different desert planet and sand in unmentionable places. As far as he can tell, neither of those things could have led him to an alternate dimension.

Elizabeth twines her fingers with his, a wistful smile on her face. She turns to look at him, eyes shining.

"Do you remember our wedding?" The question isn't a question at all, but it's more than he can take.

"No. No I can't remember our wedding. I can't remember proposing! Hell, I can't remember dating you Elizabeth. The last thing I remember is going to sleep on MX5-489. That was almost three years ago!"

The wedding party stares at him, wide eyed. Elizabeth steps away and he isn't surprised to feel a gun pressing into the small of his back.

John keeps his eyes locked with Elizabeth's.

"This isn't my world."

_[you should have learned by now I will burn this whole world down_

They return to MX5-489 with a contingent of Marines and Colonel Caldwell's tacit approval to do whatever necessary. Ronon stalks toward the village like a caged animal, and not for the first time, McKay scowls.

The first village they enter is a ghost town. Lorne's Marines keep a tight watch, clearing all the buildings. Rodney knows that they'll find nothing.

In the next village, Ronon fingers the settings on his stunner for all of two seconds before the leader spills everything. There had been rumours of the off-worlders who could use the machines of the Ancestors. The two leaders had been taken and _tests _were being performed. Rodney grits his teeth and doesn't complain when they find out that their next stop is ten miles away.

Two months ago they'd arrived on this planet only to lose two of their team.

They're not leaving until they get them back.

_[and if the world should fall apart, hold on to what you know_

They find the two leaders huddled together. The stench of blood and sweat fills the cell and Rodney has to fight to keep the nausea down when he sees them. John stares up at them with wild eyes, back against the wall. Elizabeth is curled up on his lap, unmoving.

Teyla walks toward them slowly. John's hands tighten around Elizabeth and Teyla freezes.

"John?"

The sound of his name seems to connect with the battered man. When he speaks, his voice is barely audible. Rodney does _not_ want to know what happened to make the resilient soldier break.

"Elizabeth?" Rodney pushes past Teyla and drops to his knees. John looks like a frightened animal but Elizabeth hasn't moved at all and he doesn't want to think about the ramifications of that. Teyla and Ronon kneel beside Rodney, leaving Lorne to guard the cell.

John runs his hand over her hair slowly, but doesn't speak. Elizabeth blinks, tensing. Rodney can feel the relief wash over him.

They're not alright, far from it, but they're _alive_.


End file.
